


You Only Get One Miracle

by gwinne



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 16:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17287205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwinne/pseuds/gwinne
Summary: An exploration of MSIV.  I assume that the odd numbered struggles are "real" and the even numbered ones are shared dreams between Scully/William.  None of the character choices in MSIV made sense.  Maybe this is why.





	You Only Get One Miracle

You Only Get One Miracle

In the dream she was pregnant, Mulder was gone, she was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she was touching the soft swell of her abdomen; in the dream, Mulder was back, she was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she was touching the soft swell of her abdomen. In the dream she was pinned to a hospital gurney in a train car, her belly distended. She was on her hands and knees rocking through labor, she was pushing so hard she thought she’d split in two. Please don’t let them take it. They hadn’t had to; she’d given him away.

*

Dana, you have to choose. It was Monica’s voice that came to her this time. I’m sorry, Dana, but you have to choose. Mulder, she could say, I gave him up and now he doesn’t want us back. He knows I love him; he’s sacrificing himself for the world. In this version of the story, she places her hand on her abdomen, she tells him, as she never had a chance that first time, that she’s carrying the secret spiral of their shared DNA while their first miracle is shot and drowned somewhere in the dark. In this version, everybody who has touched their lives dies.

That’s not a story she can stomach but a horrible nightmare he’s dreamed up for them. “Scully?” Mulder called softly from the other side of the bathroom door. She imagined him there with his head pressed against the dark wood. “You okay?’

“Yeah.”

“Another dream? You want to talk about it?” He sat down next to her on the cool tile.

“These images, Mulder. The things he thinks about. That he sends to me. He thinks he’s monster. I think….Mulder, I think I might be pregnant.”

“That’s impossible.”

She chuffed. “More than impossible. My god, Mulder, I was infertile in my thirties.”

He sat with her quietly, in the dark. She took his hand, hold it against her lower abdomen where it pulled and cramped, familiar and foreboding. “What’s next? What do you want to do?”

“This is not what I wanted, Mulder. We already had our miracle. I want our son. This is so…” she was sobbing then. “I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Everything that I experienced. I had so little choice, so little control over my body, over our family. I wanted what’s best for him. I think somewhere, deep down, he knows that.”

“But if I am… I’m a scientist. I know what our embryonic stem cells can do.”

He nodded. He pulled her into his lap and they sat there, her head in the hollow near his shoulder as he stroked her back. “Okay. That’s what we’ll do.”

*

In the motel bed, Jackson felt something come alive, a lit candle, an idea, a promise. He packed his things. He drove home, toward the truth.


End file.
